Throughout the last several years I have been growing through a period of change. My own path as a mother of children who are growing into teens coincided with a path of broader development in the world that I like to think of as a movement towards collective leadership models, and with my role as a mid-career therapist who recognizes the gift of growth in mindset after being out of school for twenty years.
As my own children grow I learn how to cheer them on rather than do things for them and, as a mirror, I am learning in my work as a therapist how to share power, resources, and ideas so that I structure my practice as a collective endeavor that is based in shared ownership rather than the more traditional role of “expert” I have used in the past.
It was my own therapist who introduced me to the ARC framework. That is: The Attachment, Regulation, and Competency Framework developed by Kristine M. Kinniburgh and Margaret E. Blaustein of The Trauma Center at JRI (right here in Boston). It is a framework that is simple, flexible, and grounded in research. Importantly, it lays the power of the practice of therapy with children into the realm of collective skill-building. One of the things I love about this model is that caregivers are included as active participants in a more structured way.
The first block of the ARC framework (which will be addressed throughout this fall) is Regulation. Regulation refers to our ability to perceive and name both emotional and physiological experiences and then respond to them. Often both children and adults have trouble differentiating emotions, leaning on vague language such as “I just feel bad.” In my sessions this fall I will attend to emotional vocabulary and body awareness as tools for regulation. First we will check in on energy-levels and body states, then on emotion labels for the week. Finally we will lean into experimentation and play that aims to build awareness around what helps change one’s state (either to rev up or calm down), what feels soothing, and what helps build pride, resilience, and self-awareness.
For parents the regulation block will be addressed through our first shared parent-supportive-study chapter which is by Dr. Becky Kennedy and focuses on the both/and nature of parenting:
BOTH our kids' needs and our needs,
BOTH regulation for our emotions and their regulation of theirs
BOTH our roles as purveyors of boundaries and figures of safety
I have printed copies of the chapter stacked outside my office and will try to remember to send them home. Please also feel free to come in and grab one. I will look forward to hearing your feedback on these articles.
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